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Why do Minnesota basketball fans absolutely hate Joel Pryzbilla?

Pryzzy was a big, white, vanilla gorilla that rebounded the air out of the ball and always hustled when he was on the court. Things that are usually endearing even to gorilla haters.

Despite being a homegrown talent from small-town Monticello in Minnesota and choosing to stay home to play for the Golden Gophers, when he had the option to play for far more prominent programs like Kentucky and UCLA. It would be his seething hatred for the classroom that would get him more heat than Harambe from the University of Minnesota faithful.

A Well-Oiled Cheating Machine

In a surprise to absolutely no one except Maud Flanders Karen types

Maud Flanders

This Will Not End Well

Amidst all this classroom drama and the unceremonious departure of the coach he came to play for, Pryzbilla was balling. Leading the Golden Gophers in scoring on several occasions, including recording a 33-point, 14-rebound performance and being named the Big 10 Player of the Week in early February 2000.

There was just one problem. Big Pryz had a “lack of academic commitment” according to his new coach, Dan Monson. This was code word for the vanilla gorilla doesn’t go to class.

When coach Monson pulled Pryzbilla aside from practice to discuss his uhm, academic indifference, some things were said, feelings got hurt, and the big sophomore center walked out after being given an abrupt ultimatum to either get his grades up, without any special “help”, or be cut from the team.

According to Monson, Pryz never contacted him again and he also stopped attending classes altogether, electing instead to declare for the 2000 NBA Draft to avoid any more school work.

This perceived act of “quitting” mid-season drew the ire of Golden Gopher fans and made them dislike gorillas of any kind to this day🦍

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5 responses to “Vanilla Gorillas Don’t Go to Class – Why Joel Pryzbilla Left the University of Minnesota”

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